One Fire Pit to Rule them All

When we went camping on my dad's property each Memorial Day weekend, we'd roast marshmallows on the fire. Cooking to a perfect golden hue before flipping it over. In the same way we would toast our bodies as the desert temperatures dropped, one side then the other. The light would illuminate our faces and make staying outside pleasant before crawling into tents and sleeping bags.

Getting such a bonfire going with a single match was something I always prided myself in being able to do. Tending to this creature, feeding it, keeping it alive and healthy, is a favorite pastime. It's in my blood. So it should come as no surprise that I would find a way to cage fires in my home like a bird.

And on a random shopping trip, I spotted the vessel. A cauldron large enough to hold a beast of a flame, that welcomed you to stay outside long into the night.

However, the walls were steep and tall, making it difficult for fledgling infernos to breathe. Even with all of my experience I had a hard time keeping fuel burning. I knew that I would have to add ventilation to create a blazing conflagration.

My first though was to cut out simple rectangles and attach a wire mesh to hold in the wood and ashes. This may have done the job but wouldn't be the unique extension of myself. Doing things artfully is more my idiom. So something with a bit more style was called for.

I used my tattoo as inspiration. Since I am a long time Lord of the Rings fan I'd gotten the text from the One Ring permanently wrapped around my arm in tribute to my love of this story. And I long though of adding flames to the existing work. But now that I was working with actual fire, it seemed incredibly appropriate to add this same text to the pit.

So I found a vector copy of the graphic and blew it up to four inch lettering. I don't have a roll printer, so I just printed out individual 8x11 sheets and taped them together. Using an exacto-knife, I cut out the lettering by hand, remembering to leave stencil bars to hold the shapes together. I then attached the papers to the cauldron and used spray paint to mark where I was going to cut out the same shapes.

Of course, an exacto-knife wouldn't work on the metal pit and I didn't want to have to cut this out by hand with a hacksaw or similar. Luckily, my friend has a plasma cutter at his Lab. I got a quick lesson and did a few practice runs on some scrap metal. When I was ready, I made quick work of the lettering and had a mostly finished product. I added a layer of high-temp spray paint (the type of stuff you'd use on a barbecue) to provide a finished look and protection against rust.

Now when I have a fire in my yard, keeping friends and family warm, it burns with my love of combustion and the power of Sauron.

Merry Christmas year one

Merry Christmas! 

Today marks the one year anniversary of The Hundred Acre House*. I got a lot done around the house and I have many projects planned for the new year:

• Finish the bar
• Rip out the lower living room
• Start the T-Rex Swing
• And much more

There are some projects I've finished for which I have yet to create posts. I have time off for the holidays so I'll use some spare moments to write about them. Also, I plan on working on a couple other improvements.


*In spirit at least. While the house itself is actually 60 years old as of 2015 and we dubbed it THAH several weeks before buying the place, nothing is official until you actually move in.

A dry spot in the shade

Now that fall has returned, I'm reminded of when I first moved into the Hundred Acre House. These heavy rains can be the source of many miseries, but I was happy to find that I had very few, especially where the roof was concerned. However, standing at the sliding door, I couldn't help but wish to be outside without getting wet.

So I decided to spoil myself and put a roof over the deck.

I quickly ditched ideas for temporary structures such as awnings. Instead, I'd reinforce and improve the current deck while making something that would last.

I started with a survey of the present structure, which I had a good look at when I installed the backyard lighting. The deck is in two levels and I knew that the roof would only cover the smaller, higher section. This meant that three corners would connect to the house directly. The final corner would not be free hanging, nor would it rest on the deck itself. A new post would go from the ground up, supporting both the deck and the roof. I wanted a strong crossbeam to support the roof, which meant a second post as well.

Most of the deck sits on what I assume was the original cement patio. This would be the foundation on which my roof posts would rest. I went with the idea of bolting pressure-treated 4x4's into brackets embedded in cement feet. I installed some temporary posts to hold up the deck while I tore out the main leg. For the second post, there was nothing but dirt underneath. I toyed with the idea of creating a new slab as the house came with a couple bags of cement. I dug a hole and filled it with gravel and sand, compressing both to make sure that the slab wouldn't sink under the weight of the deck. Then I realized I had a perfectly good slab that was just about the perfect size and was completely useless in it's currently location. Once everything was bolted in place and I kicked out the temp supports, I sighed my relief that the entire deck didn't collapse.

The hard work was now over. I put the cross beam up and excessively bolted it into place once I verified everything was level. So far, so good.

I next ran studs perpendicular to the support beam. I spaced them out based on the distance between the existing roof boards. As usual, I added way more support than required but I wanted this to be invincible. Atop the studs, again going perpendicular to the layer below, I added 1x6 slats. I left an approximately one inch gap between boards. This would allow a glimpse into the the construction of the project log after it was complete but also a nice pattern of contrasting stripes. I got the idea from some of the plans I'd had investigated going into this project.

Over the slats a laid a layer of roofing felt. This would help insulate the project, but also provide the dark contrast with the slats. On top of this I put down two 4x8 OSB sheets to act as the final structural piece. This meant I had something solid overhead that would block out all the weather but also support a great deal of weight. Again, I rolled out some felt on top of this to keep all the wood materials below dry. And to protect this material, rather than put in shingles or tile, I matched how the rest of the root was constructed. First, I put in some bent rails to channel all water away from the seams of the project, ensuring completely water tight construction. All remaining gaps, holes, and other openings inevitable with construction, were filled in with tar. After this had time to properly cure, I sealed everything in with white roofing paint. This provides waterproofing as well as heat protection. The white reflects most of the sunlight and prevents the roof itself from heating up and radiating down into your shelter.

As a finishing touch, I rotated the handrail under the new shelter to make it a perfect shelf to hold refreshing drinks while I hang out in the shade.

The finished product met all of my needs and cost almost exactly what I figured it would up front. Around $500 but that includes a slew of new tools required to complete the work.

Stuck in a closet

I've been staring at my closet for some time and thinking that something could be done. I own a million and one ties, suspenders, hats, shoes, and other paraphernalia. All of this is either hanging around or sat down and the whole thing seemed like it could be better arranged. Then I could get my clothes hamper to fit inside and actually close the closet doors from time to time.

It struck me that there was a lot of dead space between the bottoms of all my hanging shirts and the shoes and some shelves would allow that space to be filled. So I decided to put some of the random items in my garage to good use. 

When I moved out of my apartment, I took apart all my Walmart bookcases without any intention of ever reassembling them. I intend to build a proper library with shelving permanently placed in the wall. But it seemed like this wood would come in handy in the future, so I carefully kept it in good shape and moved it into the house. 

When I was a kid I always liked to play with Legos, building and rebuilding the one complete set I owned. I'd modify the design or add pieces from other small or partial sets I came across. These book shelves are just like Legos, all build to specific standards. So even though the colors may not exactly match they would all fit and play well together. 

Taking approximate measurements of the closet space I found the exact bookshelf pieces that could build a perfect organizer. This consisted of one tall board that would normally be one of the outer walls of the shelving unit. This would be the top of the new cabinet. From this would be three legs: one at each end and a third toward the middle, but spaced specifically with the clothes hamper in mind. In the other space between legs, I'd install shelves. I originally only thought about putting in a single shelf and a second at the bottom to act as a supporting foot. When I saw how much room I had though, I decided to add a second shelf. Since I didn't have a supporting foot on the open side where the hamper would be, I installed two L-Brackets to re-enforce the leg. 

Thus, from seven spare boards I had hanging around, I built this: 

The Gaping Portal

The Hundred Acre House has several entrances on it's wide-flat-face, but the two car maw for the garage is grandest of all. We often use it in lieu of the official front door when it comes time for unloading the groceries, but it hasn't housed a vehicle since we've lived here.

I get LivingSocial and other such coupon deals sent to me all the time. I used to use them to get cheap tickets to entertainment, but as a homeowner, I'm constantly on the look out for improvement deals. One that came up recently was to have a garage door opener inspection and tune up. I don't know how old my opener is or what kind of condition it's in, but I'd like to keep it for a while. So I paid for the service.

Made my appointment and had the thing looked over, tightened up, and lubed ("that's what she said"). The inspector gave it a clean bill of health but made one suggestion. The castors that rolled along the guide track were metal. These can wear themselves and the rail out over time. He suggested upgrading to nylon and would take the price of the inspection out of the cost. So I took him up on the offer. The added perk that it would be quieter seemed nice, but I was blown away by how much of a difference this made. The thing in nearly silent now (except for the opener's motor itself). I continue to be amazed by how awesome this is.

Mind the gap

One thing the inspector pointed out that he couldn't do anything about was the crowning of my driveway. Basically, houses and their walls are heavy. So much so that it causes the whole building to sink into the earth. But the hollow part of the garage experiences virtually none of this crushing weight. So while everything slowly descends, the center stays practically where it started. The bottom of the garage door, also unaffected, doesn't hug the contours of this curvature. This leaves very large gaps at either end. Let's just say that they won't keep out mice or snakes (I have found both). He suggested a concrete worker might be able to do something.

I decided to take the matter into my own hands. It seems the previous owners had as well. Along the bottom edge of the door were two layers of sealers. The first likely came with the door and was a rubber lip. Attached to this, badly and well worn, was a layer of the type of Styrofoam insulation one would normally find around pipes. At the Home Depot, I found a kit that would help make things all better. It contained some metal rails that you would mount a rubber tube to.

The old insulation and strip

Originally, my plan was to remove the horrible looking and not so well working pipe insulation but to keep the original lip. However, as I started mounting the guide rails, they tended to warp with the thick cushion. So I pealed this off as well. I made sure to pull the multitudes of nails and staples that had been used to hold on the other two layers.

Making wedges

Next, I cut a scrap 2x4 into some wedges to fit the gaps at both ends. This wasn't the most scientific or engineered of solutions. I simply measured the gap at it's widest point, measured that far in with my board, and spit it with an ax. The grain of the board made for a pretty natural slope according to what I needed. I shaved, sanded, and painted (not necessarily in that order) these two boards and they did pretty decent job of filling the holes. After attaching them to the underside of the door, I was ready for the final stage.


I cut the metal guides from the kit to fit my garage. The kit fits up to an 18 foot door, but mine is only 16. I attached the guides, fed the rubber insulation hose down (which was actually a lot more difficult that I had imagined) and finished up with something that wasn't quite perfect but is doing a pretty damn fine job. There are still some minor gap issues to figure out, but it's so much nicer than before.

The Finished Product

All those little things

Just a few updates here. While I have other projects that have been started, they remain incomplete. Here are those that are now done and were either mentioned previously or were just too small to get an individual post. 

A new outlet

  There was nothing wrong with the old one, but for one of my future construction projects I want to have an area that acts as a phone docking station. This includes being able to plug in your phone using just the USB cord, without an adapter. So I tore the old one out of the wall. Turned into a real mess, as I misunderstood a piece of its anatomy and destroyed it, RIP old outlet. This is currently located where most outlets are, way down low near the floor. But when the new construction is done it will be at easy arms reach.

Indoor lighting finished

  Almost all of the lighting fixtures have been replaced. A couple were not, simply because they were fine as-is: modern and nice or simply out of the way enough to not offend. Bathroom lights were left in because I intend to remodel them both completely. But the rest have been updated.

  The lighting fixture here on the left was used in both the upstairs and downstairs halls as well as the master bedroom. It's one of those super cheap ones you'd expect to find in a creepy motel. Their replacements are below. Both halls got identical lights, the one downstairs is slightly smaller.

Master bedroom

Upstairs hall

Also had the wallpaper and light removed from the office. The new light fits a similar style to the rest. Of course, I now how to paint the place, so I'll have to choose a color. But I also want to complete a little project that will make the room office-able. That will have to be new post for another day.

Door improvements

  Added a couple door catches. While most of the doors have the little springs with the rubber tip, a few were just banging into walls. In a couple spots I added a little rubber pad to prevent a hole being added to a wall where I normally wouldn't want one. Some spots already had a start, so I just covered them up with these guys on the right.

Several doors also have these little clips that grab a hold of the door stopper and hold it open. But some of the doors only had the clips. So I grabbed extra stoppers, put the new one right into the old hole and got things working again.

Also added a more modern touch to this by putting in a magnetic catcher stopper to a door that spends just as much time open as closed. But this was quite a feat of acrobatics putting in as I installed it at the top of the door to keep it out of the way. Why would that be important? Because this door is at the top of the stair and I don't want it putting anyone's eye out, or really looking at it all that much as they come up. But since it is on stairs the top of an open door, I had to perch on a small ledge and the handrail (just for balance) to reach it. Now people can wonder about my magnet, "How does it work?" 

Window shade

  In the garage we have an additional front door. Problem is it has this giant window that looks straight up our pantry. So I got a simple draw shade and attached it. I put a screw down at the bottom to hold it in place, even when opening and closing the door. But the shade easily comes off of this for regular use.

Window frame pad

Remember how in the 80's all the dresses had these giant shoulder pads? Well, even this window framing device in the living room had them. Had to pull these suckers off by hand, which had been upholstery stapled on. A few minor cuts and now the frame looks much better. Also added the lights, intended to be permanent, not just for the holidays.

And just for scale, this window is about nine feet by five. It's gigantic.

Hang 'em high

Back at the old apartment, having cleaning tools about was a pain. The broom, dustpan, and mop were just wedged between the fridge and a wall. Now that I have the space to expand into, I'm putting these items out in the garage. But I don't want them hanging out just anywhere. Well, there is a pretty dead wall where little does or can happen. So I just installed one of those gravity grabbers that uses the weight of the item itself to hold it in place. There, out of the way, but still within easy reach.

For whom the bell tolls

I consider the Hundred Acre House open, that my friends are always welcome. But I also don't want to scare away strangers.

And that is exactly what the old door bell button might do. The thing looks like some sort of trap, asking if you want to play a game. "Push me and I'll hold on," as it pinches and keeps a bit of your finger. Or maybe it burns and shocks you with the exposed incandescent light.

No matter, I'll replace the thing.

As you may have come to expect, the interior component is straight out of the 60s, with it's golden starburst, claiming to be from a future that never manifested. The future we have instead, fifty years later, is one that glows like Tron instead of sparkling like Buck Rogers.

The new button is almost exactly like the old one, but matches the color and style of the house: black and white bars. But the installation wouldn't be as simple as it's design.

Like with most electronics, there are two (or three, if it is grounded) wires involved: one incoming and one out going, to complete an electrical circuit. Door bells are no different. You push the button, it connects the two wires, completes the circuit, sending electricity to the door bell itself.

The old one was pretty mechanical. When activated it would bounce two little spring loaded pistons. One hits a tuned metal bar at the top, the second hits another on the bottom. Ding and dong. Simple. If you got the polarity wrong, switching the incoming for the outgoing wire, it might reverse it: dong-ding.

The problem was the wiring wasn't to spec. You see, there should be a red and a white wire so you know which one is the incoming and outgoing. This is what was hidden behind the button. But inside the door bell itself were two red wires. Since I was standing on a chair to reach it, and all I had on hand was a sharpie, I marked the two wires with the Morse Code for their Terminal letter. There are three terminals in a door bell: T, F (Front), and R (Rear). I don't have a door bell button at the back door, so no corresponding wire. The T and F wires should travel directly to the button at the front door, but somewhere along the path the electrician probably ran short on the white and used extra red to complete the path. No problem, I simply used my marks to connect them to the correct terminals in the new bell.

But the new bell is modern technology. It's digital and plays a range of tones, notes, and even songs. For some reason, it requires a diode (not a light emitting one) in the button at the front door. So I had to disassemble and reassemble the button to put this in. Tested the button: no dice. The bell would go off, but only for as long as you were holding the button. Your standard button press would barely register. The diode needed to be installed "facing" the right direction. I had a 50/50 chance of getting it right accidentally, but as luck would have it, I did not. So disassemble and reassemble the button for the third time...

But now its installed and working. The new bell includes a number of seasonal songs. Currently it plays Auld Lang Syne but includes things like Happy Birthday and other obnoxious noise.